Saving Me
by dragon of spirits
Summary: I've always tried so hard to protect everyone in my life, but I can't do it anymore. I need someone to protect me, someone to save me. Please... save me. Because I'm losing the battle against myself.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Yes, I started a new story. It's the opposite of my usual style, so let's see how it works out.

Some of you might have realized I deleted two of my other stories, and that is because I had lost all inspiration to write them. Somehow though, I found the inspiration to write this. Weird, considering how long this first chapter is. I'm not actually sure what the plot's about, since I wrote it when I was half unconscious and sleep deprived, but hey, I'm a spur of the moment kinda person. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing beside my ideas. And even those I'm not sure about since I'm positive my muse possess me every time I sit down to write.

* * *

**Chapter One**

_It's starting to get hard to know what's dream and what's reality. They've merged together into one. They twist into things in my mind, and I'm not sure what to believe now. Am I still dreaming? Am I awake? If I'm asleep, will someone ever wake me up?_

_Can someone save me from this darkness, this impending doom which seems to hang over me like a thick blanket of mist? Is anyone even there? Can you see me? Can you hear my voice pleading for escape?_

_Please, come and protect me. I've always worked hard to protect everyone else, but now I need someone here with me to hold my hand._

_Can you save me?_

_Can __anyone__ save me?_

_Or am I still alone, lost in this endless abyss. I heard the sweet music, taunting me, luring me to a place I can never reach._

_Do you understand? Because I don't think even I understand. _

_I'm trapped…_

_Save me.

* * *

_

Raimundo jolted awake, his hair and pajamas pasted to his body with cold sweat. That dream. The same dream over and over. Endless darkness, consuming everything. Why did he keep dreaming this? Why did he keep thinking of the darkness?

Or a better question would be; why did he keep dreaming of evil? Because evil is darkness and all he ever dreamt about nowadays was darkness.

He was Xiaolin Warrior. He should be light, be good. That what good was, light and hope.

Yet all he saw was darkness.

He slid out of bed and threw on a sweater. The halls outside his room were silent, everyone else asleep at this time of night. He tiptoed barefoot down the halls until he reached the door that lead to the courtyard.

He needed to think. Some fresh air, a starry sky, and his thoughts would be sorted in no time. Raimundo climbed to the roof of the temple and lay there, just staring up into the heavens.

Why? Why him? He was trying so hard to be good. He left Wuya for his friends, and even now when they were all wary of him, he was still trying to make them like him. He wished they would just accept him and stop doubting his abilities and his loyalty. Didn't they understand that he had been under a lot of pressure? Wuya came to him when he was already on the edge, offering him everything. Couldn't they see he thought it was the only path to take?

No. They didn't understand. No one did. No one knew what he was going through then. Not only did he fail to reach apprentice level, not only was he having second thoughts about if he belonged, and not only were the others making him feel horrible about _them_ being apprentices and him not, but his life back at home was falling around him. His mother was dead, his father was dead and if the Brazilian Policia found out where he was right now, they would send him to an orphanage.

They didn't understand. Being with Wuya had been his only chance of survival.

But no one saw it like that. All they saw was Raimundo betraying them. Betraying them for his own selfish needs.

Raimundo buried his face in his hands, sobbing softly. He never let anyone see through his mask, but now no one was around, so he let it slip down, revealing his true emotions.

He had never felt more alone.

**O.o.O**

"Good morning Omi." Kimiko said brightly, greeting her small bald friend, "Sleep well?" Omi smiled brightly at her.

"Oh yes. I slept like a small child!"

"I think you mean baby." She corrected, walking towards the kitchen. Omi trailed behind her.

"That too!" The entered the kitchen and sat down at the table, piling their plates with food. Clay was already there and probably on his second plate. "'Morning y'all. Hey, have you seen Rai?"

"Hmm, no. Not since last night. He's probably still sleeping. You know Raimundo. He'll wake up eventually." Kimiko said with a shrug before taking a bite of food.

"Oh yes! Being a non-apprentice, he does not understand the responsibility of getting up on time." Kimiko nodded, but Clay frowned.

"You know Omi, this is just a thought, but you don't have to be down on Rai so much." Omi crossed his arms.

"Well, it is true."

"Still…"

"Oh, come on Clay," Kimiko intervened, "we're all thinking it."

"Well, nice to know you all have such a high opinion of me." Said a voice from the hallway. They all turned their heads and saw Raimundo standing there, his arms crossed. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was disheveled.

"Wow Rai, you look horrible." Kimiko stated. Raimundo sighed.

"I was up doing chores since early this morning." He walked over to the table and looked down, only seeing there was no food left. He sighed again.

"Sorry par'ner. Guess I ate a little more than I meant to." Rai gave Clay a weak smile.

"That's okay. I'm not hungry anyway."

"Well," Omi said, standing up abruptly, "The _apprentices_ have training. I'm sure the _non-apprentice _will find something to entertain himself with while we are gone. Right Raimundo?" Rai blinked.

"Um, sure. I'll catch up with you guys later." He said softly. Omi strode out of the room boisterously, with Kimiko close behind him. Clay trailed after the two, pausing in the doorway.

"Rai…" Rai waved him forward, his eyes telling Clay to go on.

"It's okay Clay, I'll, uh, see you later." He attempted a weak smile and Clay smile back.

"Well, alrighty then." Once Clay left the room, Raimundo let the smile fade into a frown.

They still didn't understand…

**O.o.O**

"Good morning young monks. Today we shall be learning how to bend you elements into different animals… where is Raimundo?" Master Fung asked, staring down his three students.

"Master Fung, I thought this was an _apprentice_ level lesson. Raimundo is not yet an apprentice." Omi stated.

"You are correct Omi, but just because Raimundo cannot do the things I am teaching, does not mean he cannot learn them." Master Fung rebuked. "Well, we have already wasted enough time. He shall have to miss this lesson. Now, let us start off with you Omi."

Little to the fours knowledge, Raimundo sat up in the highest tree, watching them as they worked. He didn't get why an apprentice could learn that stuff but he couldn't. He was just as skilled as them. He watched Master Fung explained the move, then, balancing on the tree branch, executed it perfectly.

His lips twisted into a smile when a small bird of wind appeared before him. He made it fly upward and down, then swoop over the heads of the other warriors. Finally, when he was done, he let it fade back into the wind.

Rai looked down to see how the others we doing. Omi had yet to make a full bird, Kimiko was having trouble controlling her form, and Clay couldn't get his to lift off the ground. Raimundo felt pride bloom within his heart when he realized he could do something they could not.

"Focus young ones. The key to this lesson is focus. Envision the bird in front of you, flapping its wings." Master Fung instructed. The three couldn't seem to manage it. Master Fung sighed, "Well, let us try a different animal perhaps. Kimiko, try to make a wolf." Raimundo, hearing that Master Fung had moved on to another animal, attempted that one as well.

A wolf made of clouds emerged on the ground, looking valiant and brave. It circled the base of the tree silently. Raimundo almost laughed with glee. It was amazing! It was like he could see through the animal's eyes, like he _actually was_ the wolf made of clouds. He let the wolf roam randomly for a while, before calling it back and making the wolf die away. Glancing back at the other warriors, he saw that none of them seemed to be able to do it.

It made him feel good inside, even though the feeling only lasted a few moments before fading away.

**O.o.O**

"Hello Raimundo. How was your relaxation time? Of course, we _apprentices_ had lessons…" Omi said, stressing the 'apprentices' part. Rai, who was sitting at the kitchen table reading, shrugged.

"It was fine. So what did you learn about?" He inquired. Kimiko opened her mouth to answer, but Omi quickly said.

"Ah, ah, ah." Omi wagged his finger in front of Rai's face. "It is only the apprentices who learn what we did. Perhaps when you too are an apprentice you will be able to learn what we have!" Omi rested his hand on Raimundo's shoulder. Rai frowned and shrugged it off.

"Oh. Well, what's for lunch?" Clay whipped up some pizza for the four of them and they all got ready to dig in.

"Shen Gong Wu alert kids!" Dojo yelled, knocking a plate of food off the table. Rai sighed. Typical it was his plate of food that got pushed down. "Oops." Dojo said sheepishly.

Rai waved his hand, as if dismissing the action. "That's alright. What's the Wu?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Oh right, this is the Sword of Embers. Kinda like the Sword of the Storm, but it shoots fire instead of wind. And it also will burst into flame." Dojo explained.

"Sounds like my kind of sword." Kimiko said, stretching her arms out, "So where is it?"

"Surprisingly, Rio de Janeiro." Raimundo grew stiff. "So come on kids, let's get to it. I want to be back for dinner." Dojo patted his stomach.

* * *

_Oh Rio, my dear Rio. Why do you call to me so loudly? I love you so, but I can't return to you. Not yet. I fear… I fear if I go home, I may not be able force myself to return to the temple. But my sweet Rio, my sweet hometown. How could I have abandoned you? _

_I can't go to get this Wu, because if I do, I'll never return to this temple. If I go to Rio, the Policia might find me. And if they find me, then my destiny will be sealed. I will be put in an orphanage and I won't ever be able to come back. I know it's hard for me right now to be here at the temple, but it's better than any orphanage would be._

_I can't go._

_But if I don't, then what will the others think of me? Will they think I'm slacking off, or worse, that I'm turning evil again?_

_What do I do! What do I do!_

_I wish I could tell them what was going on, but then they'll think I'm weak, or worst, pathetic. They won't want me as a teammate. I'll be holding them all back. Maybe they'll even kick me out of the temple._

_So it's decided, I have to go. But I can't get caught._

_But if I go, I'll automatically be caught._

_Which means I can't go._

_But I have to._

_AH! It's like a never ending circle! Is there any path I can take that won't lead to my demise? Does no one hear my voice screaming to be helped! _

_Please! I need help! How do you not hear my plea! I'm yelling to the heaven and yet you're all so naïve!_

_Help me! Save me! Get me out of this black hole that I'm stuck in! LISTEN TO ME!_

_And yet… no one ever listens…

* * *

_

"Rai, you okay?" Clay asked concerned. Rai nodded, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Yeah, fine. So are we going or not?" He asked. Dojo made himself supersize and the warriors climbed on.

"Ahem, apprentices first." Omi said, pushing in front of Rai. Raimundo frowned, but let Omi go first anyway. Clay, seeing the exchange between the two boys, placed his hand on Raimundo's shoulder and gave him a smile.

"Just ignore him Rai, he doesn't know what he's doing." Rai shrugged off Clay's hand.

"He might not, but that doesn't make it hurt any less." He said darkly before climbing onto Dojo.

**O.o.O**

"Alright Rio, here we come." Kimiko said, rubbing her hands in anticipation. "Hey Rai, didn't you live in Rio before you came to the temple?"

"Um, yeah." Raimundo mumbled. He didn't make eye contact with Kimiko, afraid she would see the emotions trying to break through them. His face was a mask of calm, but his eyes screamed the truth.

"Do you miss it?" She asked. He gave her a sharp glare, one filled with anger.

"Just leave me alone." He turned his head to the ground below. Kimiko blinked in surprise. Ever since Rai had returned to the temple, he had been different. Actually, it was before he even went evil. Ever since they all became apprentices and he hadn't, he had been more withdrawn, more bitter.

Well, if he was going to be like that, then Kimiko wouldn't bother. He didn't have to be all jealous of them. After all, if he had just listened to Master Fung then he would be an apprentice like them and he would have never gone evil.

So in Kimiko's eyes, it was _his_ _own_ fault.

"Here we are kids! Rio de Janeiro. Home of sandy beaches and the bright sun." Dojo shrunk back to his normal size after the warriors had jumped off and pulled out a bottle of sunscreen. "You kids have fun working on finding the Wu. While you're doing that, I'll work on my tan." Dojo slithered away, much to the annoyance of the other warriors.

"Well, let's get cracking. We should split up to cover more ground. Omi and Kim, you guys take that half of the beach, Rai and I will take this side." Clay said. Omi and Kimiko nodded and dashed down the opposite side of the beach. Raimundo and Clay went the other way, going noticeably slower.

"Y'all right Rai? You seemed mighty out of it for a while now." Clay said. Raimundo shrugged.

"I'm okay."

"Now we all know that's a little white lie." Rai looked up at Clay.

"Why do you say that?" Clay chuckled.

"I know you better than that par'ner. Now, why don't you tell me what's wrong."

"…Nothing. I'm fine." Rai persisted. Clay sighed.

"It's alright if you don't want to tell me." He said. Raimundo bit his lip, wondering what to say. He _wanted_ to tell Clay, but he couldn't risk it. Clay was his best friend in the temple, but even Clay might tell the other warriors and Master Fung. And if that happened… Rai shivered, he didn't want to think about it.

"I do… I just can't. Please, let me work this out on my own." Clay nodded, respecting his friend's boundaries. But just because he respected the boundaries, didn't make him stop worrying. Something was wrong with Raimundo, something he wouldn't tell anyone about.

Clay halted for a moment, seeing Rai's eyes grow wide with fear. "We have to get off the beach." Raimundo whispered.

"What? Why?"

"We just do. Now." He said with air of urgency in his voice. Clay realized Rai was looking at a pair of police men who were studying them.

"Alrighty then, do you know anywhere we can go for the time being?" Rai nodded. The police had started walking towards them.

"Yeah… I know just the place."

**O.o.O**

"Where are we?" Clay asked as Raimundo led him through the backstreets of Brazil. Rai said nothing, merely stood before a door a knocked a few times. They had managed to lose the police a few streets back, but were positive that they were still being looked for.

The door was opened by a boy, two or three years older than Rai and Clay, with black hair and vivid blue eyes. "Who are you? Wha'ch you want?" He barked in rough English.

Raimundo responded hastily, if not a little afraid, "_I am known as El Fantasma. I was told I'd be welcomed here_." Rai's reply was in Portuguese so Clay couldn't understand it.

The older boy's expression changed from one of annoyance to one of surprise. "_Are you for real?_" He asked. Raimundo nodded.

For a minute, no one said anything. The older boy studied Raimundo, looking him up and down. "Well," he said, this time in English again, "I should'a guessed. You look just like Marcus. You can come in. But him," He jerked his head in Clay's direction, "He's gotta stay out here." Rai gave the boy a stern glare.

"He's my friend. If he doesn't go in, I don't go in." The black haired boy looked at Raimundo amused.

"…Alright, he can come then. But make sure he tells no one." Rai smiled at Clay and the older boy led them inside. "By the way, my name is Miguel. Marcus has told us all about you. Raimundo, right?" Rai nodded, looking pleased.

They were led into a room with a home interior. It was filled with beanbags, chairs, with a small table placed in the middle. A few kids sat scattered around, either talking or eating.

"Welcome boys," Miguel said with a grin, "to the headquarters of the Os Onze Ladrões!"

**O.o.O**

"Raimundo," Clay said, wary of the kids around him, "where exactly have you brought us?" Rai grinned.

"It's just like Miguel said. The headquarters of the Os Onze Ladrões. That means 'The Eleven Thieves' in Portuguese by the way. Don't worry, they know me. We'll be safe here until the Policia leave. Then we can get back to Kimiko and Omi." Rai explained.

"How exactly do you know these kids?" Clay asked surprised. Rai let his eyes fall to the ground.

"There's a lot about me you don't know about Clay." He said, before walking forward. Clay followed, bewildered by Rai's reaction.

"Marcus is coming to meet you two in a few minutes. In the mean time, we've sent out a few people to keep an eye on the beach. When the Policia leaves, you'll be the first to know. But that may not be for a while. Seems like they got a whole swarm of them out there waiting for ya." Miguel said, striding up to the two boys. Raimundo nodded in thanks, before plopping down into one of the beanbag chairs.

Clay was surprised. He hadn't seen Rai this genuinely happy since before the whole Mala Mala Jong thing.

* * *

_Is it wrong that I feel comfy here? Should I not? I mean, these guys were my friends long before I came to the Xiaolin Temple. And they're still my friends. More friends to me than Kimiko or Omi are right now._

_I still feel kinda… I don't know, deceitful. I know that I should have told Clay where we were going, and I probably should have found the others instead of running here, but the Policia were after me and it was the only thing I could think of doing! They had to understand that I couldn't stay there, or I would never be able to go back to the temple._

_These people here would protect me._

_They had to understand._

_But they never do…

* * *

_

"Yo, Rai. Marcus said he'll meet you in his office now." Raimundo grinned widely.

"Office? Since when has Marcus had an office?" Miguel shrugged.

"Don't know. Guess he kinda just gave himself one. Anyway, it's this way." The older boy led them through a hallway and in front of a strangely normal looking door. "You ready for this man?" Rai nodded and Miguel opened the door.

The room was poorly lit, the only light coming from a small desk lamp. The chair was turned away from the door, so the only visible part of who they assumed was Marcus was his dark brown hair.

Then the chair swiveled around. And Marcus, who was about seventeen, broke out in a huge grin. "Raimundo!" He yelled delighted. He got up from the chair and embraced the younger boy. Rai hugged him back.

"It's great to see you again. Wow, you've grown taller! But look at you, still as scrawny as ever." He said, ruffling Rai's hair.

"Marcus," Raimundo whined, "You're embarrassing me." Marcus seemed to notice Clay for the first time.

"And who might this be?" Rai smiled.

"This is my friend, Clay." Marcus studied him.

"_From the temple_?" Marcus asked, switching back to Portuguese. Rai nodded and Marcus scowled, "_He's the one who pushes you around? I'll skin him alive!_"

"_No! He's nice to me. The others are the ones who push me around, but he's my friend._" Raimundo argued. Marcus paused.

"Well, any friend of Rai's is a welcome here… _but if I ever meet that cheese ball you told me about, I'm kicking his butt into another dimension_." Rai laughed.

"You do that. Clay, I never got to introduce you, but this is Marcus, my older brother."

**O.o.O**

"You have a brother!" Clay stated for the twentieth time, "You have a brother…"

"Yes Clay, we established that I do in fact have a brother, now I come, I'm hungry." Rai said, dragging him to the kitchen. Clay was still in shock. After all, the four Warriors didn't keep many secrets from one another, and something like having a brother isn't exactly a small detail.

Rai grabbed a cup and a pitcher from the fridge and poured two glasses. He handed one to Clay, "Try it. It's a special fruit punch that my dad showed us how to make. It's good and will give you energy." Rai said, taking a sip as if to prove it wasn't poisoned. Clay followed lead and found the punch was amazing, just like Rai said it would be.

"So, you have any other siblings I don't know 'bout?" Clay asked, wiping his lips with his shirt sleeve. Rai shrugged, not answering.

"Maybe." Maybe? That's the only answer Rai was going to give him? Maybe? Hmm, was it possible Rai had been right when he said there's a lot of things Clay didn't know about him?

"Yo! Rai-man. The Policia have fled. Beach is open. You two can go now." Raimundo set down the glass and gave Miguel a grateful grin.

"Thanks man. Maybe I'll see you again soon." Clay and Rai started to leave, but Miguel held Raimundo back and whispered something in his ear. Rai's eyes widened in surprise.

* * *

_Was Miguel serious? Did… did they really want me as part of the gang again? I mean, they knew I quit after I left for the temple, and everyone knew that if you quit a gang it was quits for life. And they were even offering me my old position!_

_Would they seriously take me back?_

_No! I shouldn't be thinking things like this! I fight for good! I- I'm a Xiaolin Warrior._

_Or am I? After all, no one accepts me. Even Kimiko hates me. They don't want me at the temple. I'm just dead weight to them. I'm useless. Maybe I should join up the gang again._

_After all, the Os Onze Ladrões heard my crying, they heard my pleas, while the Xiaolin didn't. Could this be where my real friends are? I…_

_I need time. This is just too hard a decision to make right now._

_Like most of the decisions in my life._

_Too hard, too hard… _

_And no one ever is there to help me figure it all out._

_But maybe now there can be…

* * *

_

"I'll think about it." Rai promised Miguel, who smiled.

"Good. We'd be glad to have El Fantasma back on the team." Miguel said, clapping Rai on the back before walking away. Clay raised an eyebrow.

"Who's El Fantasma?" Rai's eyes grew distant.

"An old acquaintance…" He answered, before saying, "Come on, we'd better go meet the others."

**O.o.O**

It took a few minutes to get to the beach, but once they got there they found out Miguel was right and the police had really left. But in their place there were two fuming Xiaolin Warriors. "Err, hey guys."

"Hey guys? HEY GUYS! Do you know how _long_ you've been gone?" Kimiko screeched. Clay and Raimundo backed up nervously.

"Now just calm down li'l missy-" Clay started to say, but Kimiko sent him a withering glare.

"Oh don't you tell me to calm down! I expected you to be the responsible one Clay!"

"Listen, it's my fault Kimiko. I wanted to show Clay something and we got distracted. I'm sorry for taking so long" Rai butted in, taking the blame.

"Well, thanks to you two, we're lost the Sword of Embers!" She screamed. "Jack came and kicked our butts! Do you know how embarrassing that is! To lose to Jack Spicer of all people!"

"I said sorry already! What do you want me to do? Go get the Sword from Jack!" Rai yelled back.

"We wouldn't have lost it if you were here! You know what? We never argued like this when you were with Wuya! It was so much easier to do things when you were Heylin! We-" Kimiko slapped her hands over her mouth, realizing what she had just said. Rai had a hurt, shocked look pasted on his face.

"…Oh. I didn't know that was the way you all felt." No one said anything, but Kimiko looked at the ground ashamed. "Well, if that's the way it is, maybe it's better if I'm not a Xiaolin Warrior anymore. I've had enough. I quit!" Rai stomped away from the three very shocked teens.

"What have I done?" Kimiko whispered to herself, watching Rai's retreating form.

**O.o.O**

"Stupid warriors. Stupid Xiaolin. If they don't want me, then good riddance! I don't need them." Rai mumbled angrily to himself. "I'll rejoin the gang. They'll give me my position back. Heck, I should have done this a long time ago."

"Feeling inadequate?" A voice said from behind Rai. Raimundo whipped around, trying to locate the source of the voice.

"Who's there?" He called out. No answer, but Rai didn't put his guard down.

"Poor Raimundo. The Xiaolin don't serve your purposes anymore, do they? They've betrayed you." The voice echoed round the ally and Rai tried desperately to locate the voice.

"Show yourself!" He yelled, trying to sound brave.

A man appeared seemingly out of thin air. He stood before Rai, studying him with golden eyes. He stood tall, with long black hair and black armor covering his body.

"W- Who are you?" Rai asked, more curious than afraid. The man chuckled.

"My name is Chase Young. Yours is Raimundo Pedrosa, Xiaolin dragon of the wind. In training of course."

"Not anymore. I'm done with the Xiaolin." Rai said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"So perhaps you'd like to give the Heylin side another chance?" Chase said, holding out his hand. Rai eyed him suspiciously.

"I don't understand."

"I am offering you the chance to become my apprentice. You have already given the Xiaolin side a second chance, why not give the Heylin side one as well. You'll find we are much more… appreciative of your abilities." Chase said with a smirk. Rai started to move his own hand towards Chase's to shake, but pulled back last moment.

"But my gang…"

"They will still be here if you choose to leave the Heylin side. What I am offering you will only be offered once."

* * *

_He's right. I've given the Xiaolin more than enough times to prove themselves. Maybe it is time I try out the Heylin side again. After all, no harm, no foul._

_And the darkness has always felt better to me than the light. Maybe the Heylin have heard my pleas. Maybe they will understand._

_I've waited long enough for the Xiaolin to hear._

_Now I'm taking matters into my own hands.

* * *

_

Rai grabbed Chase's hand and shook it firmly. "You've got yourself a deal." He said confidently. Chase grinned.

"Perfect." Rai gasped as black smoke started to envelope the two of them. He saw his friends – former friends run forward, watching in shock at what was happening. They were trying to scream something to him, but Rai couldn't hear them. Rai watched in awe as black smoke covered their bodies, his beautiful city disappearing.

When the smoke cleared, he had arrived in a majestic looking cavern, filled with pillars of marble, fountains and waterfalls, and plants everywhere, "Welcome Raimundo, to your new home."

"This… this place is amazing! It's so beautiful!" Rai exclaimed, taking a few steps forward to examine more of his new home.

"I am glad you like it." Chase said with a chuckle, "Of course, I will have someone show to your room. You'll be given a new set of robes, one to fit your status."

"Status?" Rai asked confused.

"Of course Raimundo. You are my apprentice now." Chase said, walking away. Rai grinned to himself. He could get used to this.

**O.o.O**

"He 's done what?" Dojo asked shocked. The remaining warriors had been quick to explain why their last teammate was not there. Master Fung remained quiet, but it was clear he was just as shocked as Dojo was.

"This is… most disturbing. If Raimundo has truly quit, then we must find him and return him to the temple." Master Fung said, deep in thought.

Kimiko, trying to hide how worried she was for Rai, said, "Well, maybe we should just let him quit. It's not like he wants to be here anyway." She crossed her arms as if to make a point. Master Fung gave her a stern glare.

"It is not so simple Kimiko. The Xiaolin Dragons are only strong when they are united as a whole. If one leaves, then everything falls apart. You saw what happened when Rai joined Wuya. We cannot let such a thing happen again."

"Master Fung, why can we not just a get a new Wind Dragon? One who will do chores and train hard?" Omi asked. Clay wanted to whack him on the head.

"The Xiaolin Dragons are only born in times of peril. There is no other dragon of wind, nor will there be until Raimundo dies. The universe can only give so much to us. You were each given your powers for a reason. Fate looked into your heart and chose you to take this task upon yourselves. No one can replace Raimundo." Master Fung explained.

"But why would it choose Rai? Of all the people in the world, it chose the laziest, jerkiest, stupidest of guys." Kimiko said. Master Fung raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe there is much about him that you do not know." Clay's eyes widened in surprise. Hadn't Rai told him the same thing just hours ago?

Maybe there really was a lot they didn't know about their teammate…

"Come, we must start our search. Brazil will be where we begin."

**O.o.O**

Rai stretched out his arms, trying to get to make his new robes less stiff. They felt strange on him, like by giving up his vibrant red robes, he had been giving up a small piece of his personality. No, not his personality anymore. That wasn't him. This is who he was now…

But had he really made the right choice?

Someone coughed from behind him and Rai turned on the balls of his feet, ready to strike whoever it was. Chase smirked. "You're alert. That's good. Lesson number one; always be ready." Rai nodded.

"And what would lesson number two be?" Chase smirked again, realizing he had a wise student.

"Lesson number two is always keep your guard up." He said before jumping into attack. The two sparred for a while, Chase yelling out advice and comments on all of Rai's moves. Raimundo lost the fight badly, but Chase still seemed pleased.

"Well, at least you are not hopeless. You have skills and potential. The only thing stopping you is yourself."

"What?" Rai scoffed, "That makes no sense."

"You have been put into the mindset that you are not good enough. You have been taught that you are below others and can never reach the level they have reached. You have been convinced that nothing you do will ever be okay, so you have just stopped trying." Rai shifted his eyes to the ground, "Hmm… you were told to never ask questions and you were always held back as a child. Told that it is better to hide yourself in the shadows and act obediently than to allow your potential to break through. It is these things that hold you back."

"How do you know all this about me?" Raimundo asked with wonder.

"You are easy to read Raimundo. Your eyes tell your story."

Raimundo laughed harshly, "Apparently not that easy to read or the Xiaolin side would have known all this long ago."

"The Xiaolin side is composed of fools. They ridiculed you, pushed you and kept you from your potential." Chase said, "If they could see half of what I can, they would never have let you go."

"So, how do I become better?"

"I can teach you everything you will ever need to know. I can make you stronger than your wildest dreams. But I need your full obedience. And your full trust."

* * *

_Trust? That's not something I can give easily. Because everyone I trusted in the last few years has failed me. They didn't hear me screaming for help. They took my trust and twisted it into something horrible._

_But… Chase understands. He was able to look into my soul and see it crying. He knows why I'm hurting on the inside and wants to help me. _

_The Xiaolin never saw that._

_That is why they no longer have my trust._

_Chase…_

_Chase has helped me when no one else could. He saved me.

* * *

_

"Yes, Master Chase, you have my complete trust and obedience."

Chase grinned a grin that sent shivers down Rai's spine. "Good. The real training starts tomorrow."

Raimundo knew that even if he made the wrong choice, there was no backing out now.

* * *

_Please, let me be saved…

* * *

_

**A/N: ***Looks confused* Alrighty... how the heck did I write this? Oh well, reviews feed the soul! One review to update is and has always been my policy.

Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes. Like I said, sleep deprived and half-unconscious. I just have this urge to post it though and am too lazy to edit it.

Oh, and if people ask for it, I will put my other stories back up. Hopefully inspiration will strike and I'll be able to work on them again. I really do like The Traders and hope to get it back up and running eventually. I'll just have to push myself harder if I know you guys want it.

Again, review please!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Hey guys.... Sorry for making you wait such a long time for an update. If I ever take more than a month, everyone can PM me and tell me to get off my lazy butt. Though I am seriously shocked at the amount of reviews I got! I love you guys so much! I was in comatose when I saw them.

So, review replies! (_Ya know the drill. Skip to the next A/N, or straight to the chapter if you didn't review. If you did, go ahead and seek out your name!_)

_**angel-devil-2009**_: Thank you! Yeah, I love Chase too, so I make him a villain in whatever stories I can squeeze him into. Thanks for the review!

**_xEmilia._**: *grins* Continued! Thank you for the review!

_**Nanny-panter**_: Aw *hugs* Whenever I get reviews like yours, I always remember them because it means I really connected to the reader. I can't tell you what path Rai will take, but I really hope you end up enjoying this story, and thank you so much for the review!

_**Firegirl 156**_: *laughs* Yeah, I'll take that as a complement. And even if I don't plan it, my stories always end up with pairing :P I just can't help myself. Lol, yes, pretty much all my writing it dark-ish, but you're right, this one happens to be a bit heavy. Hope you enjoy it anyway and thanks for the review!

_**Blindpaw**_: Thank you Blindpaw's sister! *smiles* I'm glad you like it!

_**FalseDivinity**_: *bows* Ah, but everyone is a critic. Last time my chapters are too short, now they're too long. Pssh, oh well. *pokes* And fine, fine, but we both admitted to copying from something else :P Thanks for reviewing!

_**Lanny9000990009**_: LANNY! *hugs* I missed you too! I had to start writing again because it was driving me insane not to! AW! I'm glad you like the chapter! Haha, my sister told me the same exact thing about Rai. Hey, what can I say? I like when he's wallow-y :P Thanks so much for the review darling!

_**silvermoondemon16**_: Haha, yeah, go ahead and whack Omi, *grins* He deserves it! Thanks for the review!

_**Luiz4200**_: Thank you for pointing that out! *laughs* I took Spanish for two years and still don't know the basics! Ha! Well, it's been fixed now! *grins deviously* No worries, I have that part all planned out already (not in this chapter unfortunately, but one to come) and your review majorly helped inspire it! Thanks for the review!

_**Allendra**_: Lol, I wonder as well! (Even though I'm the author, I know about as much as you do :P) Glad you like it (hehe, superpowerful Rai is the best!) And thanks fr reviewing!

_**xxFireWarriorxx**_: Des!!! You're reviews always manage to put a huge smile on my face! Hey, you can't blame Rai so much (He's like, what? Fourteen? Of course he's dumb lol) Haha, sorry! You know my thoughts on the annoying cheeseball, but I'm glad that I managed to portray him the way I wanted. And same goes for Kimi (but I like Kimi, hence what's to come *grins happily* you'll see what I mean) I'm glad you like the chapter AND always leave ridiculously long reviews! I love 'em!

_**bringbackxiaolinshowdown19**_: SIGNED IT!... I think :D

_**SilentDarkness101**_: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Oh, and thank you for the review!

_**Soruccio**_: Whoa! Italian? Seriously!? That's so cool! *grins* I guess you'll just have to wait and see if the Xiaolin will help Rai or not. Thanks so much for the review!

_**angel03618**_: Aw, thank you! Of course I'm continuing :P There's a chapter right under this lol. Thanks for the review!

_**Pearli97**_: I'm glad you like it! Hopefully, I'll not only make another chapter, BUT I'll actually finish this story! (eventually lol) And thanks for the review!

**A/N**: *looks up at review replies* Wow.... They're STILL long even though I tried to keep everyone's replies short! *smiles happily* Oh! And before I forget:

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown. I have attempted to bribe the creator of the show with cookies into giving me Rai.... it didn't work. So, nope. I own nothing but my plot.

Okay, this A/N has dragged long enough. Enjoy the chapter!

**

* * *

****Chapter Two**

_~Two Years Later~_

_

* * *

_

_Darkness. What I am, what I live for, what I've become. I breathe it every day and night and it has become the only thing in my life that matters._

_Is this what being saved means? Darkness and goals of revenge?_

_So why does it feel so… wrong?_

_

* * *

_

"No! I've taught you this move many times now Raimundo! Do not fail me again!" Sweat dripped down Rai's face as he struggled to perform a very difficult martial arts move. All Chase did was push him. When he had been with the Xiaolin, he had only needed to be better. Now that he was with Chase, he needed to be perfect. It wasn't a question, it was a fact. Perfection or nothing.

"I'll get it right!" Rai yelled back to his master, starting to execute the first flip. Then the second, third, on to the twist, one hand hold, push off… damn! Rai stumbled, falling straight onto his face. There was a sigh from behind him and Rai knew he had disappointed his master.

"_Enough_ Raimundo. Enough. You will try again tomorrow." Chase said before out of the room. Rai waited until he heard the door shut close with a 'click' before pushing himself up off the ground. He stood there for a moment, silently, before releasing a scream of pent up anger.

Why wasn't he ever good enough! He tried and tried and tried and still he wasn't good enough! Not good enough for the Xiaolin. Not good enough for the Heylin. He was worthless. If he couldn't even perform this one move, what good was he to anyone?

With a tired sigh, Rai ran his fingers through his hair, leaning against a cold stone wall. It was times like this he missed Clay and Kimiko. Heck, he even missed Omi. But they were better off without him. They didn't want him. Nobody wanted him it seemed.

"Stop it." He mumbled to himself. He was sixteen. He didn't need pity, not even from himself. He didn't want to mope and feel bad for himself.

He wanted to be stronger.

No, he _needed_ to be stronger.

He thought Chase had saved him, but all Chase had done was push him farther down. Before Rai had hoped there was someone out there who could take his hand and help him, but know he knew that people like that didn't exist.

He would have to save himself.

Since no one else would.

**O.o.O**

"Hiya!" Kimiko kicked high, aiming for Omi's big head. But Omi was fast enough to dodge and catch her leg midair. Kimi's eyes went wide when she realized she had been trapped and quickly lit her whole leg on fire, giggling when Omi yelped and removed his hand, waving it in the air frantically.

"Owww, that hurt very much Kimiko!" Omi whined, using his powers to freeze his hand in a block of ice. Kimiko giggled, until she caught sight of Clay's grim face from the corner of her eye. Her own smile faded as she walked over to him.

"Any news?" She asked, allowing a small amount of hope to seep into her voice.

"Nothing. Our lead was wrong. He wasn't there." Clay said sadly. Kimiko sighed. Two years of searching and all they had to show for it was their ever growing sorrows. It was like Rai had disappeared off the face of the earth. He was just… gone.

"We'll find him, Clay. I'm sure we will." She attempted to be optimistic, but ultimately failed. Everyone, even Master Fung, doubted now that Rai was out there, assuming he was even alive.

"If you say so, Kimiko." Clay said, walking away. Rai leaving had hurt the most out of all of them. At first he had gone all quiet and wouldn't talk to either Kimiko or Omi. He was mad at them for mistreating Rai when they hadn't even understood what he was going through. Eventually he lightened up to the two, but Kimiko believed he never fully forgave her for chasing Rai away. But the truth was, she didn't even forgive herself.

About a month after Raimundo's disappearance, Kimiko had snuck into Rai's room. It was a mess, clothes scattered all over the floor and his bed spread askew, but it was just like Rai to have an organized chaos to things. After a bit of digging around, she found his journal buried under his pillow. What she read still haunts her.

Why hadn't Rai told them about the trouble he was going through? Between everything with his family, not becoming an apprentice, and their constant teasing, it was no wonder he left. Why didn't Rai trust them enough to let them into his life? Were they really that bad friends, that he wouldn't even tell them he was an orphan now?

How could she continue being angry at Rai when she know understood the constant pain he felt.

He just needed someone to save him, to help him. She could have been that person.

Instead she drove him away.

* * *

_Punch. Kick. Punch. Kick. Don't stop. No matter how tired I am, don't stop._

_This is the only way to get strong. By pushing myself until I don't need help. Pushing until I'm strong enough to save myself._

_I don't need them._

_I don't need anyone._

_I just need to be stronger.

* * *

_

Rai would practice for hours straight, never letting himself rest. Not that it mattered to anyone. Chase would hardly care if he worked himself to death. Actually, Chase would be thrilled by the prospect of it. Apparently Rai wasn't living up to his potential.

Anyway, Rai liked practicing on his own. No one yelling at him, no one telling him how to move. It was just him and the steps. Like a dance that Raimundo could dance forever. He didn't have to think when he practiced, it had become second nature. Each move blended into the next, a perfect harmony of offense and defense. When he was like this, Rai could forget where he was and who he served.

Here he was just Rai. Not Raimundo the orphan or Raimundo the dragon in training, not even Raimundo who is Chase Young's apprentice. He was Rai. Nothing more, nothing less.

If only he could always be just Rai.

**O.o.O**

Kimiko peaked out of her room, looking left then right to make sure no one else was around. Coast clear. Slowly, Kimiko crept out of her room and slipped into the empty one right beside her own. Rai's old room.

It was clean now, emptied of all the previous junk that scattered the floor and bed. But even though it was devoid of its pervious messiness, everything about the room still screamed 'Raimundo'! The posters on the wall, the surfboard leaning against the wall, the pictures sitting on the desk, and the soccer ball in the corner; everything she looked at reminded her of him. Tears swelling in her eyes, she crawled onto the bed, inhaling Rai's scent.

Kimiko wanted to scream. She wanted to yell and cry and swear that it wasn't fair! Why did he leave them!? Why wouldn't he come back? They, especially Kimiko, were sorry, so very sorry! They regretted their mistakes and didn't he know they couldn't live without him, that she couldn't live without him!?

She let out a soft sob, burying her face in the pillow. Didn't he know she couldn't live without him.

From the next room over, Clay let out a sad sigh, hearing Kimiko crying again. She had done this every night since Rai's departure. She blamed herself for him leaving, even though Clay and Omi constantly told her it was of equal blame. Clay saw Kimiko put on a brave face every day, but at night she would simply walk into Raimundo's room and break down. She beat herself up over him and Clay knew the only thing that would comfort her would be Rai's return.

Clay looked up at the ceiling of his room, waiting until he heard Kimiko's cries stopped before walking into Rai's room and carrying Kimiko back to her own. Kimiko was asleep, her face tear streaked and pale, but Clay knew that come morning all evidence of the previous night would be gone.

With a sigh, Clay walked back into Rai's room and fixed the pillow and blanket, before briefly picking up a picture from Rai's desk of the four of them smiling. It had been taken just before the Mala Mala Jong incident. Setting it back down, he mumbled, "Rai, parn'er, I hope that wherever you are, you're off better than us. Because without you, we're pretty much lost."

**O.o.O**

Rai placed the last object in his bag, his eyes quickly scanning the room to make sure there was nothing important left. He was getting out of here. He couldn't live like this anymore. Some might call it quitting, but Rai called it surviving. Though Chase's training did make him stronger, it was also making him weaker. Week by week Chase's abuse grew greater. He was suppressing Rai's potential, making Rai dependent on him. Raimundo didn't want that, and the simplest was to get out of it all, would be to leave.

Slinging the bag over his shoulder, Rai pushed open the door to his room and slipped out, tiptoeing across the hallway towards the front of the palace. For the first few months of his stay there had been guards everywhere, but now Chase trusted him enough to let him roam on his own. Rai already knew exactly where he needed to go.

The Wu vault.

Chase didn't keep many Wu, but he did save one that Rai needed right now. Two actually: The Sword of the Storm, one of Rai's best weapons, and the Golden Tiger Claws, Rai's ticket out of this place. It had taken Rai a while to figure out how the complex lock on the door worked, but after watching Chase do it enough times, Rai had learned. It was magic that was the key, and it was hard work for Rai to memorize the long, strange words perfectly, but eventually he had gotten it right. He mumbled them now and felt a small burst of pride when the door clicked open.

Rai strode into the room, knowing he didn't have much time now. Chase would know that the vault had been opened and come find him. His eyes hunted out the Wu he needed and eventually he found the Claws and the Sword on a shelf. He slipped the Wu onto his hand and tied the sword to his belt. Already he could see Chase's large cats pounding down the hallway that led to the room, but it was too late.

With a grin of success, Rai slashed open a portal and jumped into it with only one thought in mind.

Home.

**O.o.O**

Master Fung sat up suddenly from where he lay in bed, his eyes wide with surprise. "Something has changed." Master Fung quickly got out of bed and gathered the monks, proceeding to go to the Wu Vault which also served as a council room when needed.

"Did you feel it too?"

"Yes," Master Fung answered, "The powers of the universe have shifted. My only theory is that the Dragon of Wind has returned." This caused an uproar of disagreement amongst the monks.

"Obviously," One very loud and very tall monk named Monk Gyasta said, "A new Dragon of Wind has been chosen! The old one clearly drifted to the Heylin side and the universe has granted us a new ally!" Some agreed with the elder monk while others protested loudly.

"There can only be one Dragon of Wind in the world at a time. If there is truly a new Dragon, it would be because the last one died and we would have sensed his death if it had it happened. The universe would have shifted to the Heylin side until a new Dragon was chosen. But, the powers have shifted for our advantage." This came from another old monk, this one named Monk Ryo. Master Fung calmly listened to both sides, before voicing his own opinion.

"Whatever the reason for the shift of powers, we should be grateful that the universe is once again balanced. I agree with Monk Ryo and do not believe the former Dragon of Wind has been killed. Rather, I believe he has left the Heylin side. We must find him and convince him to return to the temple." Master Fung stood up and strode from the room, the other monks following close behind him. Only Monk Gyasta was left in the circular room, glaring at the spot where Master Fung had previously sat.

"Even if he does return, I will see to it that he is not welcomed here." He muttered darkly to himself before exiting.

**O.o.O**

Raimundo tumbled out of the portal, his breath getting knocked out of him when he hit the ground. But even his horrible landing could not ruin the joy he felt.

* * *

_Brazil! My beautiful city! How have I survived this long without you? I missed you and promise I will never leave this city again._

_After all, everything I could possibly need is right here. What reason would I ever need for leaving again?

* * *

_

**O.o.O**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE IS GONE!?" Chase roared, his anger flaring out of control. "I specifically told you to watch him! How could he possibly have escaped?!" The tiger whimpered, scared of the dragon warrior's vengeance full wrath. Chase stood up from his throne and paced around the room, seething rage and fury. "He is the key! My plans are nothing without the pawns in place… Crow!"

A black bird swooped down from the ceiling, landing elegantly on Chase's shoulder before letting out a loud squawk. "Find him, "Chase commanded, "And report back to me when you do. Make sure he is still alive, for I will be the one to punish him. He will understand that it is not wise to betray me." The bird flew off, cawing piercingly as it swooped through the air in search of its prey.

Chase sat back down in his throne, his anger slowly simmering down until he was calm once more. Yes, Raimundo would soon understand the meaning of pain.

**O.o.O**

Raimundo walked through the city, allowing his fingers to skim over everything. He wanted to touch it, make sure it was real and wouldn't just disappear. Rio, his hometown that he loved, was finally his again, and nothing would ever make him give it up. He wasn't going back to Chase; never again would he make a mistake like that. What had he been thinking? Go back to the Heylin side? They had already disappointed him once, what possessed him to think that they wouldn't fail him again, like the Xiaolin did.

No, it was much better to be rid of all of that warrior and Wu stuff. It only brought him pain. The only things he had left was the two Wu he had stolen, his powers, and memories. Besides for those few things, he wanted nothing to do with the Xiaolin or Heylin anymore. They weren't making him strong enough, so he was going to someone who would.

Rai took a deep breath, standing before a wooden door that he had stood in front of so many times before. But never had he felt this nervous. He curled his hand into a fist and gently tapped it on the door, knowing that someone had heard it. Then he held his breath, too scared to even breathe.

There was a racket from inside, and a bit of Portuguese was yelled loudly. After a few seconds though, a disheveled teenage boy cracked open the door.

"You, what you want?" The boy said, not even looking at Rai. His focus was still behind him, spitting things in Portuguese at some girl with pink hair, who was yelling back just a furiously.

"Hello Miguel." Rai said, his voice quiet. Immediately the Brazillian boy stopped his shouting and turned to face Rai, a huge smile breaking out on his face.

"Raimundo! Mi amigo, I was wondering if you'd ever come back to us!" Miguel said,. "It'll be good to have our best thief back on the team." Miguel ushered him inside, ignoring the pink haired girl now, who was sitting on a chair, fuming. Rai cast her an apologetic smile and followed Miguel to Marcus's office. Marcus was just as enthusiastic to see him as Miguel had been.

"Mi hermano!" Marcus said, engulfing Raimundo in a brotherly hug, "How have you been? Has the temple been treating you alright?" He asked. Rai looked down at the ground, not wanting to explain that he had left the temple two years ago and joined the dark side.

"Um, yeah, it's been great. But I think I've had enough of that kind of life. I was wondering if my position was still open?" He asked shyly. Marcus placed a hand on Rai's shoulder and grinned.

"You hear that Miguel? El Fantasma has come to us asking for a position. Ha, we should be begging him to return to us! Of course you may join Raimundo, not only because you are my brother, but because you are the fastest kid I've ever seen. You still have those mad skills you had when you left."

Rai laughed and nodded, "Yeah, I still got them."

"Good, Maria and Nicolas are going raiding later. How do you feel about joining in?"

"Seriously? Of course I want in!" Rai agreed, happy to have been accepted back so quickly. Marcus nodded, like he knew Rai would agree.

"Okay, but they don't leave to tonight. I want you to go get some rest now, got it? Miguel will show you to a room you can stay in." Marcus sat down at his desk, which Rai took as a sign to leave. He opened to door to walk out, but before he could, Marcus said, "Raimundo… I am glad you have come back home."

Rai smiled, "Me too."

**O.o.O**

"So, you mean he left the Heylin?" Kimiko asked, her eyes sparkling with hope.

Master Fung nodded, "That is what we believe. If he has indeed left the Heylin, they we must find him before someone else does. Raimundo may be in a vulnerable state right now, easily swayed by whoever offers him the best deal. We cannot afford to lose him again."

Clay leaned back in his chair, a large grin on his face, "Don't you worry Master Fung, we'll have him back here faster than a pig on a mud slide."

"Good," Master Fung closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them and examining the three warriors in front of him, "Clay, Kimiko, you two will go to Brazil and search Raimundo out there." A frown quickly formed on Omi's face when he heard himself being left out.

"What about me Master Fung, why am I not going?" Omi asked, a small pout of displeasure on his face.

"I need you to stay here with me Omi, in case the Heylin forces attempt to attack us while we are exposed. Many of the monks will be leaving the temple to find Raimundo, and I fear an attack." A large grin broke out on Omi's face.

"Oooooh yes! I will keep the temple most safe!" He said happily.

"Master Fung," Kimiko said quietly, "What if we can't find Rai in Brazil?"

The elder monk rubbed his face tiredly, "Then we will keep looking until we find him. Do not lose hope young ones, I have a very good feeling about Brazil. We will find him there."

**O.o.O**

"Hey, Raimundo, man, it's good to see you again!" Nicolas, a tall, blond haired, brown eyed, teenage boy said, striding into the small room where Rai was staying. Rai grinned out his old friend, standing up to embrace him.

"Good to see you too, dude. How have things been?"

Nick shrugged, "Eh, we've done okay for ourselves. But with you back on the team, we'll be the top gang again! I can see the headlines in the papers already; 'El Fantasma mysteriously returns after disappearing for three years!' It's gonna be great man!" He said happily, high-fiving the shorter boy.

Rai was beaming ear to ear. He hadn't been this happy since over three years ago. To be accepted like this, unconditionally, was amazing. To them, he was a friend, not a tool, and he knew that even if he failed ever single mission they sent him on, he'd still be accepted.

This was his home.

Nicolas, who had never been one to understand the concept of personal space, was rummaging through Rai's bag. Raimundo hadn't packed a lot in his haste to flee from Chase, but one thing in his bag intrigued Nick.

"Hey Rai, who are these people?" He asked, holding up a picture of four teenagers standing together. Raimundo grabbed the picture from Nick and threw it back in the bag.

"They're no one. They're not important anymore." Rai mumbled.

Nick raised an eyebrow, but knew it was smarter to let it go. "Okay dude, if you say so. Come on, we have to start prepping for the mission tonight. If another gang shows up, it promises a good fight." He said, walking out of the room. Rai followed, but at the last minute, went back and grabbed the picture, stuffing it into one of his pockets.

* * *

_Why am I taking the picture?! I don't need them anymore! They didn't want me!_

_This, this is what being saved means. Being accepted, being loved. No expectations, no doubts, but total understanding of one another. _

_So… why do I feel like something is missing?_

_Have I really saved myself?

* * *

_**A/N:** *coughs* So I bet a lot of you guys are wondering what's going on, right? Yeah, well me to :P I write these things as it comes to me, though I'm proud to say I do have a sliver of a plot now planted in my head.

I apologize for spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm seriously too lazy for my own good XD

As usual, **ONE **review to continue (though it may take me a while to continue, I promise I really will!) I'll try not to take over a month this time. *looks nervous* So please don't come at me with pitchforks and torches! *ducks and runs*

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and ONE REVIEW PEOPLE!


	3. Chapter 3

**EDIT**: Fixed a major plot hole that I discovered while re-reading. Too lazy to copy over my author note from before XD Enjoy :D

**Disclaimer**: Nope.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_This was freedom. I've forgotten this feeling, and having it once again is like warmth spreading in my heart. The heart that I had thought went cold and died long ago._

_It's…It's amazing! I feel so alive! The last three years have obviously been a mistake. This is where I was always supposed to be._

_And even though I miss Clay and Kimiko a bit… and maybe even Omi, and even though I enjoyed the things I learnt from Chase and how powerful he made me feel, nothing can make me ever want to return to that life._

_I'm __**never**__ going back._

* * *

Rai leapt from rooftop to rooftop alongside his gang, letting the wind whip his face and hair. His senses were alert and attentive, and he felt ready to be in the action already.

El Fantasma's return debut.

And everyone had just accepted him back. No doubts like when he had gone back to the Xiaolin, and no harsh treatment like when he joined Chase. His gang didn't want a Dragon of Wind or a Heylin Warrior.

They wanted Raimundo. _Him_! Not some tool he was supposed to act as. It was… amazing, refreshing, and even life rejuvenating. To just be him… it's what he always wanted.

"Hey, dude, watch your side." Nicolas called out, seeing Rai get a bit too close to a roof edge. Rai grinned, nimbly running on the edge of the building before flipping to the next one. It seemed like he would miss the edge, but Rai twisted in midair to rebuild his momentum, managing to land on the rightmost corner of the building. Nicolas was right behind him, grinning just as widely. "You are loco, man! That move was crazy! You gotta teach it to me. Where'd you learn it?" He asked excitedly, bouncing up and down like a little kid might.

"It's something… I picked up in the last few years." Rai mumbled, his grin dimming a bit. Actually, it had been something he learned under Chase. It took him weeks to perfect the move, due to Chase's strict instructions that he was not to use his powers to help him. Raimundo had always been light on his feet, but a move like that was near impossible. Or, so it had seemed until a few weeks later when he had managed to perfect it.

Chase might have been a strict teacher, but Rai always learned the lessons he taught.

Rai shook his head, annoyed with himself. He didn't want to think about Chase. That was exactly why he left!

"Hey, man, you coming?" Nicolas asked.

Rai smiled. "Yeah, I'm coming. Hey, do you think Maria is mad that I took her place for this raid?" He asked.

Nicolas waved his hand, motioning that the even thought was ridiculous. "Nah, she knew it was only a two person raid. I don't think she'd care. She goes all the time; she's probably enjoying her break. Now come on Rai, we've got a party to crash."

**O.o.O**

"Here we are kiddies; beautiful Brazil. All off who's getting off." Dojo announced before shrinking back to his normal size. Kimiko looked around the beach in wonder, slightly mystified by the effect the moon had on the water.

"Wow, it's so pretty here!" She said happily, he eyes bright and heppy. Clay had a far more serious look on his face.

"Now come on Kimi, remember why we're here." He said, jabbing his thumbs into his pant pockets, "We gotta find Raimundo."

Kimiko nodded, full of energy. She knew that if they could find Rai, they would be able to convince him to come back to the temple. That was the easy part. The hard part would be actually finding him in this large city. Since none of them had really been in Brazil except that one time to get the Wu, they didn't know where anything was. Much less where Raimundo would possibly want to go.

"Come on ya'll," Clay said, starting to walk towards the road, "I think I've got an inkling of where our Rai may be."

Kimiko was a bit surprised by this, by followed after him. "Where are we going?" She asked. Clay's eyes darkened.

"To see his brother."

**O.o.O**

Unknown to the warriors, they were not alone on the beach. A crow circled silently overhead, watching their every move. The only noise it made was a loud 'caw' when it started to follow them into the city.

**O.o.O**

"So… this is it?" Rai asked, examining the fence in front.

"Yuuup." Nicolas said with a nod. "Ready for a brawl?"

"Yuuup." Rai replied.

Both boys grinned at one another. "Alright, let's do this."

_

* * *

I feel like I'm twelve again. Raiding another gang's hangout… it was just like before. _

_It even seems like I could return home and see my parents smiling at me._

… _But they're gone._

_So I guess I'll have to make do with what I have._

* * *

"_This_ place? Really?" Kimiko asked skeptically. "It kind of looks…. trashy." Clay shrugged, and jerked his head towards the door.

"This is where Raimundo took me last time we came here. His brother apparently has a gang, and this is where they live. It doesn't look like much, but if Rai were anywhere in Brazil, this is where he would come." Clay said, positive that he was right. Kimiko shrugged and knocked loudly on the door.

There was a crash from inside and a stream of Portuguese words being yelled out. The door was flung open by a girl with bright pink hair, who looked furious at being disturbed. "What'ch you want!" She yelled, seeming ready to punch someone. Clay stepped forward, his protective brotherly instincts taking over as he gently pushed Kimiko behind him.

"Sorry to bother you miss, but we're looking for our friend."

The pink haired girl raised an eyebrow. "And what makes you think he's here?"

"Well, maybe you could help us. You see, our friends name is Raimundo." The girl tensed up and bristled at the name.

"There ain't no Raimundo here! Now get out of here before I make you get out!" She yelled, rudely slamming the door in their face. Kimiko's cheeks reddened with anger.

"Well, that was mean! She could have at least been a little more polite!" Clay placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her.

"Now don't you worry Kimiko, even though he might not be here, we'll find him." He said in a soft voice. "We'll just have to keep looking."

Clay tap his fingers against his chin. "No, she was lying, she recognized his name when we said it."

Kimiko brightened up immediately. "Really? So… Rai might actually be here?" She asked hopefully.

Clay nodded "This is as good a place as any. I have a feeling that if he ran away, here is where he would return to." A large smile spread over Kimiko's face.

"That's great! It means we're on the right track!" The smile quickly turned into a sly grin, "I say we sneak into this little 'hide out' and find out if Rai is really there!"

Clay grinned. "I'm in!"

**O.o.O**

"So, he's returned to his old gang?" Chase said, mostly musing to himself. The crow cawed in response. "It intrigues me that Raimundo would return to the place of his childhood. I thought perhaps he would go into hiding and avoid those closest to him, though this makes it much easier for me to return him to my side."

Chase snapped his fingers and a fully armored warrior rushed to his side, "Go to my apprentice. Watch him, but do not let him know you are there. I would like to see how he responds to the challenges he is faced with while out there alone. Report back to me in three days." The warrior nodded and left, ready and eager to complete the task its master had set for him.

"Soon, Raimundo, you will return to me. And then all the pieces will be in place, and the game will finally begin."

**O.o.O**

"Wow!" Rai said as a huge grin stretched over his face. "I mean… wow! I forgot what it felt like to have a raid like that!" Nicolas chuckled, hoisting the heavy bag over his shoulder.

"Yeah man, things have been boring without you. Remember the crazy stunts we used to pull off before you left? And now that you're back, we can pick up right where we left off. You, me, Maria, and Marcus; the first four of the Os Onze Ladrões. Back then, we had barely just got ourselves settled and you were already ready to jump into things. Heck man, if it wasn't for you, I'm not sure we would have ever made a name for ourselves. 'El Phantasma' they called you. Elusive thieve that haunted the streets of Brazil!" Nicolas said, waving his hands dramatically. Raimundo laughed.

"Well, let's not forget that you're as famous as me. What do they call you now? "The Deadly Shadow" or something like that?"

Nicolas smirked. "Well, we can't all have instantaneous fame like you did. Some of us have gotta work for it. Anyway, I thought it sounded cool. You know, create an air of obscurity around me. You can't kill a shadow."

"And you can't catch a phantom." Rai said with a grin, "Now come on 'shadow', let's go get our haul back to the rest of the gang. I feel awake enough to pull off another million raids tonight!"

Nicolas chuckled, watching Rai race ahead and let out a whoop of happiness. "Now that's the Rai I know." He muttered to himself, before chasing after the overexcited Brazilian.

They arrived back at the hide out, only to have an annoyed looking Maria open the door. She looked them up and down, before flipping her pink hair over her shoulder and letting them in. "You get anything good?" She asked. Rai grinned, opening his bag to give her a peek inside. She whistled loudly. "Nice, too bad you couldn't snag more. I would have been able to."

Rai's grin faltered a bit. Nicolas saw this and immediately rushed to his side. "Yeah, well, it was a good raid me and Rai-boy had. We're going to go show the boss man what we got then hit the hay." Nicolas said, slinging his arm over Raimundo's shoulder and leading his away. Rai glanced back behind him, spotting a very disgruntled looking Maria smoking heavily on a cigarette.

"I – I don't get it. Why doesn't she like me anymore?" Rai wondered out-loud. Nicolas shrugged.

"Girls are loco. Come on; let's haul this loot up to Marcus."

_

* * *

I don't get it. What am I doing wrong? _

_Here of all places, I thought I'd be accepted. But… why does she hate me then? _

_We used to be the best of friends. All four of us. Nicolas, Marcus, Maria, and I. _

_Is it them who changed the most…_

_Or me? _

* * *

Kimiko fell onto the ground, sweat covering her face. "This is impossible! You'd think two highly trained Xiaolin Warriors would be able to break in to a stupid building!" Kimiko moaned. "But we've been trying for hours and we just can't get in! This would be so much easier if we had the Serpents Tail! Too bad it's lost."

Clay chuckled, "Kimi, you do realize my element is earth, right?" Kimiko nodded, only realizing what he meant a few moments later.

Kimiko's eyes had murder in them. "Clay, if you could have just kicked the wall open, why did you let me spend the last half hour busting my butt trying to find a way in…"

"Well, I was hoping you'd find a way in. Kicking down a wall isn't exactly inconspicuous." Clay answered smoothly.

"Clay, I swear when this is over, I'm kicking you butt so hard! Now come on, it's time to find out whether Rai is really here or not."

**O.o.O**

"Yes," Chase hissed, watching the whole exchange through the eyes of his crow, "and it's time for me to get my apprentice back."

* * *

**A/N**: one review please :P

Hope you enjoyed.


	4. Chapter 4

**EDIT**: Fixed some typos holes that didn't make sense. Thanks ya'll for the reviews :D New chapter shall be posted soon hopefully!

**Disclaimer**: Does anyone know if I'm actually required to put these stupid things at the beginning of the chapter? I don't own XS :P

On with the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_Feelings I can't explain. Ones I haven't felt in a long time. _

_Yearning for something…. for what?_

_I thought I wanted power…_

_I thought I wanted freedom…._

_But what do I really want? Because this doesn't feel like freedom…._

_How can it, when something is missing?_

_

* * *

_Rai sighed, tossing the soccer ball over his head and catching it. He was lying down on his bed, supposedly 'resting' after the mission, but his body refused to relax. Rai let out another loud sigh as the ball bounced off his fingertips and rolled off his bed. He didn't feel like getting up to retrieve it.

What was wrong with him? This was what he wanted, wasn't it? To be able to do what he wanted, to be accepted again. So why did he feel so depressed. Rai couldn't put his finger on it, but something about him being here was just… not right.

Raimundo wanted to scream in frustration. He wanted this! Why couldn't he just be happy for once in his life! Why did he always want more? ...

Why couldn't he just accept that this was as good as it would ever get.

After all, this was all he deserved. The life of a thief; the irony was it fit him oh-so-well. Raimundo stole everything from other people; their friendship, their love and acceptance; and when things got too hard he ran away.

And even if he did want to go back, the Xiaolin Side would never let him return to the temple. They probably hated him right now. After everything he had put them through. First Wuya, then Chase… no, he would never be welcomed back on the Xiaolin side.

But he couldn't return to the Heylin side either. Chase would murder him if he came back. No, the Heylin side was no longer an option.

So where did that leave Rai? In limbo; nowhere to turn, nowhere to go. He didn't belong in that world any longer. This was where he belonged.

So why did it feel like something was missing.

Rai sighed again, already knowing that he would get very little sleep tonight.

**O.o.O**

"Okay, you ready?" Kimiko asked. Clay nodded and they both stared at the wall for a few moments before Clay yelled out "Seismic Kick!" and forming a hole in the wall large enough for the two to walk through.

"Nice, we're in!" Clay said happily.

"And who exactly," Said a low voice from behind the warriors, "is 'we'?" The two Xiaolin Warriors froze in their places, and turned to face the speaker. They faced a nineteen year old boy with brown floppy hair and green piercing eyes.

"Ooooh great," Kimiko mumbled under her breath. "Didn't think we'd get caught this fast."

Clay recognized the boy, even though he looked older now. "You're Marco, aren't you?"

Marco's eyes narrowed. "Yes, and you're that boy my brother brought in here two years ago. Are you looking for him? Because he came here to get away from you."

Kimiko jumped forward, "Wait, so he is here! Please, just let us talk to him. We haven't seen him in two years!" Marco's eyes now widened in surprise.

"Two years… I believe my brother has withheld some information from me. Why don't you two come to my office, we'll have more privacy there." The warriors exchanged looks before following the older Brazilin boy to a small office. Marco took a seat in the chair behind the desk and gestured for the teens to sit as well. "Now, why don't you tell me everything that's been going on the last two years? All of it."

Kimiko took a deep breath and began.

**O.o.O**

"Back so soon?" Chase asked in an unsurprised voice. "And what could you possibly have to report after just one day?"

The African warrior who knelt before Chase raised his head to look his master in the eye, "The Xiaolin Warriors have made contact with the targets brother, sir."

Chase leaned back on his throne and rested his head on his hand, "Is that so? Well then, we'll just have to work this to our advantage."

**O.o.O**

"So, he joined this 'Chase Young' guy, but he left for some reason to come back. Not only that, but he didn't tell me any of this." Marco said calmly. Kimiko was surprised at how well he was taking this all.

"Yeah, that's why we haven't seen him in two years. We weren't even sure if he was still alive or not, but then Master Fung sent us here, saying that he had left the Heylin side." She explained.

Marco's chin rested on his hands and his brows were furrowed in confusion, "What I don't understand is why Raimundo would leave in the first place. Going to the temple was a second chance for him; it's not like Rai to throw something so good away."

Kimiko blushed deep red, "Well, Rai leaving might have been my partly my fault. I- I was mad at him for making us lose another Wu, and I let my anger get the best of me, so I screamed at him to leave, but I didn't really think he would."

Clay was surprised to hear Kimiko admitting it was her fault, "Now listen here little missy, it's no more your fault than it was the rest of ours. We're all to blame." Clay said.

Marco nodded, agreeing with the other two warriors, "If there is one thing I know about my brother it's that if he loves something, he will never give it up just because someone tells him to. No, there must be some other factor, some puzzle piece we are missing; something that made Rai think he _had_ to leave."

"Well…" Kimiko said slowly, "Rai did leave his journal at the temple, and as much as it embarrasses me to say, I have looked through it. He kept mentioning your father and mother in it and he also wrote 'I'm not strong enough yet' in the margins. Actually, he was always writing about how he needed to be stronger, but he never mentioned why."

Marco's eyes grew wide, "He couldn't possibly… but if he did… No, no way… but maybe… it would explain so much." He mused to himself. Kimiko, growing impatient with Marco's mumbling, was the first to speak up.

"What 'couldn't possibly'?" She asked. Clay was wondering the same thing.

Marco stood up and started pacing behind his desk. There was silence in the room for a few moments, until Marco said, "Has Raimundo ever told you anything about his past?" Seeing the Xiaolin shake their heads, he continued, "Well, then allow me to fill you in. But I should tell you first; once you know what my brother has been through, you may not be able to look at him the same way as before."

The warriors glanced at one another, before Clay spoke up and said, "We'd like to know anyway, if that's alright with you partner."

Marco nodded, "Very well. Just… try to keep in mind that everything Raimundo did, he did because he thought it was the right thing to do at the time."

**O.o.O**

Rai tossed and turned in his bed, desperately trying to rid the images that plagued his mind.

"No… no…NO!" He screamed aloud in his sleep. He wanted to open his eyes and forget about everything he was imagining.

But he was asleep, and he seemed to be trapped in his dream.

The same dream from two years ago.

Darkness…

Rai wanted to awaken, because the world he stood in now scared him more than anything in reality did. Here in his mind there was no light, just darkness. And even though it was his mind, he couldn't control the things he saw. He stood in a large meadow, but all he saw were shadows.

"Wake up… please wake up." Rai mumbled, trying to pinch himself awake.

"Are you scared Raimundo? Do you fear the dark?" A low voice asked, echoing through the empty space.

"I'm not afraid! I'm… I'm not-" Rai choked on his own words. Was he afraid?

"The first step is identifying your fear; the second step is facing it, and the last step is eliminating it." The voice said. "You will never be able to face your real problems if you cannot face the ones in your head."

"I don't want to face them! I just want them to go away!" Rai screamed, shutting his eyes and covering his ears, hoping it all would disappear.

"Go away?" The voice asked bemusedly. Rai could hear the man's voice inside his head, impossible to escape. "No Raimundo, they will never go away. Because you're your fears lay in the past, and either you will face them, or your fears will consume you."

Rai awoke suddenly, sweating and panting. His hands clenched the thin blanket tightly, and it took Raimundo a moment to get his bearings.

"I don't know who the hell was talking to me, or how he got in my head, but I will prove him wrong. I won't let my fears consume me."

_

* * *

But… am I strong enough to face my fears?_

_How can I be strong enough to face my fears, when I can't even face my friends?

* * *

_

**O.o.O**

I was thirteen when it started, which meant Rai was around ten." Marco began. "My father was never a drinker, but he had just lost his job, so he went to the bar. He came home angry and aggressive, willing to take his fury out on anyone. Unfortunately, that meant whoever happened to be home at the time. I was at a sleepover at the time and heard this all from my sister-"

"Raimundo has a sister?" Clay asked in surprise. Kimiko glared at him angrily for making Marco stop his story.

"Yes, we had two sisters actually." Marco continued, "But anyway, my father came home drunk, and the first person he saw was Rai, so…"

Kimiko was the first to catch on. "He was beaten…"

"Yes," Marco nodded, "I was furious when I found out what had happened, but Rai refused to let me call the police. I – I can still hear his screams. Every night when my father came home drunk, Rai was the one who felt his wrath, and if anyone else tried to intervene, my father would just beat them as well. Raimundo went as far to tell us that no one was allowed to help him anymore, because he didn't want anyone else to get hurt."

Marco paused for a minute, organizing his thoughts, "This went on for quite a while, about a year or so, until eventually it got too much to handle. Raimundo and I had an older sister whose name was Carla. She must have been about fifteen back then... Anyway, Carla hated having to listening to the things my father did to Rai all the time, so one night she decided to put an end to it."

Another pause, this time because of the pain of recalling such a horrid memory, "They were in the kitchen… She confronted my father, told him it was enough. He was in a drunken rage, so he grabbed the closest thing to him, which happened to be a knife I had used a few hours prior to this to cut fruit with and… he stabbed her. In the middle of the chest, close enough to the heart that it was fatal. And Rai sat in the corner, horrified, but unable to do anything."

Kimiko's hand was over her mouth in shock, and Clay's eyes were wide. Even Omi was on the edge of his seat.

"The magnitude of Carla's death seemed to force my father into a sober, but it was already too late. Carla was dead, and Rai couldn't take back the things he had seen. After that, everything in our house became fake. We never told the policia about Carla, Rai wouldn't let us, but we held a funeral for her in the backyard. I was fourteen, he was eleven. I told him we had to leave; that how we started Os Onze Ladrões."

"T-that's horrible. I can't believe-… Kimiko whispered. Clay nodded, unable to say anything himself.

"Yes well, it didn't end there. Because of the death of my oldest sister, my mother seemed to go insane. She would just… pretend that Carla was still alive. She would have long conversations with people who weren't there. Raimundo would visit her every day and spent so much time with her, trying to help her, but it seemed the more he was around her, the crazier she went. Then the Temple came and offered to train him. I told him if he went, maybe she would get better. You know, at first Rai disagreed. He refused to go to the Temple and leave out mother alone."

"What - what made him change his mind?" Clay asked.

"A week after the temple made their offer, my father was found dead in front of our house; someone had slit his neck open. It was then Rai agreed to go train at the Temple."

Tears had filled Kimiko's eyes, "He never told us any of this. He didn't even tell us he had siblings, let alone anything about his past. If we had just known-"

"No," Marco said sharply, "it wouldn't have made a difference. Raimundo didn't want you to pity him. And you should not blame yourselves for anything that happened. Rai made his own choices." Marco finally sat down and ran his fingers through his hair tiredly, "still, something is missing. The story just doesn't add up. I know if we just had that one last piece…"

"Well, let's work with what we know," Clay said, all business now. "We'll work in chronological order. Okay, first he was beaten as kid, and his sister and father died. His mother went insane, so he left home. Then he gets invited to the temple and trains for a half a year, before switching sides to join Wuya-"

"No wait," Kimiko interrupted. "Something happened before that. Raimundo's mother died."

Clay raised an eyebrow, "Is that important?"

Kimiko started to look exited, "Yes, it's very important. I think I finally understand now."

"Understand what?" Marco asked interested.

"Why Raimundo's done everything he's done so far. Why he became evil twice and left the temple. Don't you see, it's so clear!" Kimiko said.

"Umm, how about you explain, lil' missy, because I'm lost." Clay voiced.

"Raimundo thinks he needs to be stronger to protect the people he loves. I think he believes that he can't protect them until he's strong enough. It must have started with his sister, maybe he assumes it's his fault she died. Then his father, and now his mother. He keeps trying to get stronger and stronger to save these people. And every time one of them died, he changed his life around because he thought he wasn't getting strong enough." Kimiko explained. "First he left home because his sister died, then he joined the temple since his father died, and the he joins Wuya since his mom died."

Marco looked surprised, "As insane as that sounds, it's does seem like something Rai would do."

"It does seem to make sense," Clay said, "but if all this is true, why did he join Chase? And why did he return here?"

Kimiko's brows were furrowed in confusion, but Marco was able to clear things up, "Our sister. I told you we had two. The elder was Carla, but we also had a younger sister, Emilia. She passed away two years ago from cancer. I didn't tell Rai, but I think he figured it out when he came here two years ago."

"It all makes sense!" Kimiko said, sure of herself, but Clay wanted to have all the facts before jumping to conclusions.

"Okay, I'll admit it does fit mighty well together, but he left Chase? So... why?"

There was silence in the room.

"That's the missing piece. That's what we need to find out."

* * *

**A/N**: New Chapter will be up soon :D

Please review, it would make me immensely happy :D But I need just one to continue (I'd love more though XD)

Hope you enjoyed :D


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Guys, I have risen from the dead! Or... somewhere close to death, seeing how long I've been missing from this site. I'm honestly surprised I ever got this chapter finished, but I really have to that 'alecritique' for getting me off my lazy butt with her wonderful review.

And of course, everyone who reviewed Chapter 4, thank you so very very much! I'm not going to reply to them, simply since I feel like I've lost all my reviewer and writing review replies that shall never be read is a bit of a waste of time XD

So, since I'm sure everyone has forgotten here's a quick recap:

_Rai left the temple because of feeling inadequate compared to the others, and joined Chase because he believed would make him stronger. After two years, Raimundo left Chase and chose to return to his old gang back in Brazil, where he hopes to leave everything behind, but nightmares continue to plague him. Clay and Kimiko were sent to bring Rai home, but before they get a chance to talk to Rai, they bump into his brother, Marcus. After a lengthy conversation and many buried memories being dug up, Clay and Kimiko believe they have discovered the reason for Raimundo shifting sides so many times, now they just have to confront him about it._

So, hope that sparked some recollection in you. If not, go back and read the previous chapter XD Or just try to catch on, that works as well.

**Disclaimer**: After four years of writing and posting fanfics, you'd think I might own it by now, but... nope.

On with the chapter!  
_

* * *

_

**Chapter 5**

_I hate them; these nightmares that plague me. I don't know if I hate the darkness in them, or the evil I sense in them; but I hate the fact that I can't understand them. The last time I had these dreams, I thought it was a sign to return to the Heylin side._

_Yet… I've already done that, and the dreams still continue. _

_I'm not afraid of these dreams and I'm not afraid of the dark anymore. I'm slowly coming to terms with the darkness inside myself._

_But…_

_I'm afraid of the unknown. _

_Because that's scarier than anything out there. _

* * *

"So… what's the plan?" Kimiko asked Clay. They were currently sitting in a large bedroom with two beds lined up side by side. The room was a soft green color, and every time Kimiko glanced at the walls she couldn't help but think that it was the exact same shade as Rai's eyes.

"Well, now that we've got Raimundo all figured out, we need a good argument to convince him to return home with us." Clay suggested. "But I don't think it's gonna be as easy as it sounds."

"Why can't we just tie him up and drag him back?" Kimiko asked with a sigh, "It'd be so much easier."

"I do not think that would work very well, Kimiko."

The two sighed in unison. "Maybe we should just go… talk to him? No plan or anything; just tell him we miss him and need him back." Clay suggested.

Kimiko shrugged, "Not like we're gonna come up with a better plan any time soon."

**O.o.O**

Raimundo was bored. Extremely bored. Possible even bored enough to say he missed the intensive training with Chase.

Chase Young... His friends…. Xiaolin and Heylin…

Why was it that every thought he had eventually led him to think of his past? Why couldn't he just forget the last two years of his life? No, better yet, why couldn't he just forget everything after his tenth birthday. Then things would be so much better. If only he could just have a second chance at everything. Then things would be better, right?

Wait, no, it wouldn't… because the past is what made Rai who he was now. So many things over the years had hurt him, but he had survived everything, and it made him stronger.

So why did he feel so weak? Now, more than ever, he felt vulnerable and alone.

Rai screamed into his pillow, his fingers gripping the sheets of his bed harshly. _Why_! Why couldn't things just make sense for once!

"Raimundo?" A voice said hesitantly. Rai looked up from his pillow, his vision bleary.

"Oh great, I'm hallucinating." He said, spotting two out of three of his former teammates standing in his doorway. "Crazy dreams, voices in my head; I really should have expected hallucinations sooner or later."

"Rai, we're real."

Raimundo focused in on Kimiko. "You're…real?" He asked slowly. She nodded.

He moaned and let his head fall back onto his pillow, "That's even worse."

**O.o.O**

"So, you guy came all the way from the temple, because you want me back?" Raimundo asked dubiously. "Even though I left and betrayed you?"

Clay nodded, "We really need you there with us, partner. It's just not the same without you. You are the dragon of the wind and no one can replace you."

Rai contemplated this for a moment, a dazed look steadily growing on his face.

_

* * *

They- they want me back?_

_I don't understand. I expected them to hate me, not to have been looking for me… not for them to want me back._

_How can I face them knowing what I did in the past? How can I see them knowing I hurt them?_

_But how can I refuse when this is what I've wanted…_

* * *

"Rai," Kimiko said quietly, pulling Raimundo from his thoughts, "Why did you leave the Heylin side again?"

"Hmm? What'd you mean?" Rai could feel Kimiko's icy blue eyes drilling holes into him.

Clay cleared his throat. "We know about your past Raimundo par'ner. Of how you always wanted to be stronger. We know about your mom and dad, and your two sisters."

Rai's eyes grew hard, "You don't know anything!" He yelled angrily, "Stop pretending you even have the slightest clue of what I went through as a kid!" He stood up and marched towards the window, crossing his arms and facing away from his friends. "You don't know anything…"

"Then please," Kimiko pleaded, "Please tell us so we can understand! You always kept everything a secret and we never knew what you were going through. Tell us so we can help you!"

There was silence in the room for a few minutes. No one would speak and break the tension.

"…you want to know?" Rai said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You want to know the things I saw, the pain I suffered as a child? Do you want to understand the dreams I have every night that I wake screaming from? Do you think you could handle it?"

They nodded, but Rai didn't look towards them. His eyes were fixed on the window. "You know… when I was a kid, I used to pretend I was a superhero. I had this little cape and a mask that I would wear as I ran around the house." Rai chuckled darkly. "When everything in my life went wrong, I kept hoping a superhero would come to save me. Actually, it didn't have to be a superhero; I wished _anyone_ would save me. No one ever came, so I realized, I needed to become stronger. All the time I practiced and trained. I worked hard to build myself up…. But I couldn't save the people who were most important to me. Everyone always ended up dead; my father, my mother, my dear sisters… they all died because I wasn't strong enough."

"It wasn't your-" Kimiko started, but Rai quickly cut her off.

"Don't you dare say it! Don't tell me it wasn't my fault because it doesn't matter whose fault it was. _**I**_ should have been able to protect them. I should have been able to save them… but how could I save them when I'm barely able to keep myself from falling."

Kimiko wanted to go and reach out to Rai, put her hand in his and comfort him, but instead she was frozen in her spot. "What do you mean by that?" She forced herself to ask.

"I lost myself… when I was training with Chase. All my life I've been trying to be stronger, so I wouldn't lose anyone else, and in the process, I lost myself." Rai wrapped his arms around himself and turned to face his teammates. "I hurt so many people because Chase said it would help me. I did so many things for the sake of strength… and I became the kind of person I most hated. But I did it anyway, because I did feel myself getting stronger. Every time I attacked or hurt or killed, I got stronger. But I also got weaker, because I couldn't stand the guilt. It took me two years to realize Chase was trapping me, two years for me to realize I was dying inside. I've always tried to become stronger to save the people I love so they wouldn't get killed… and in the process of becoming stronger, I killed myself."

Raimundo seemed lost in his thoughts and Kimiko and Clay didn't dare interrupt his reflections, but Kimiko understood now. He always changed his life path when someone close to him died. The final person to die was… him. She got up and placed his hand on Rai's arm. "So come back with us. You can change."

Raimundo shook his head, "There is no point anymore. No one left to protect. After Emilia died, I should have just given up." He fell to his knees. "I failed protecting everyone…"

Clay came beside Rai and placed a strong hand on his shoulder. "You're wrong. There will always be people left to protect. There will always be someone you love who needs to be saved. You only fail when you give up." Clay moved to stand in front of Rai and placed both his hands on his shoulders, giving him a light shake. "Don't you get it Raimundo! You need to come back so you could continue fighting!"

Rai lifted his head from the ground, tears glistening in his eyes. "I can't – I can't go back. I've done so many bad things. The darkness inside of me-"

A loud slap resonated through the air. Rai had a look of shock pasted on his face, and blinked in confusion at Kimiko, who stood before him, her hand still poised from the slap.

"If you give up now Raimundo, the darkness wins." She said, crossing her arms over her chest. "There will always be darkness inside of you, but it's only once you accept it and surpass it can you get stronger. Don't worry about the future, don't worry about things you don't know yet. There will be time to learn it all as long as you keep trying. But, if you give up… then everything you have ever done was for _nothing_!"

With eyes wide open, Rai looked up at his two teammates standing before him.

_

* * *

Accept it? Accept the darkness inside of me and then surpass it?_

_Don't worry about the unknown?_

_Is… is it really that simple?_

* * *

"You guys… would honesty just accept me back?"

They nodded. "We're your friends Rai. Through the good times and the hard ones, we will always want you standing besides us. We don't care how strong you are."

Rai got up off the ground slowly and went back over to the window. "I… I need some time to think." He muttered before jumping through the opening and running onto the streets below. Kimiko watched him as he ran, but made no move to follow.

"So," Clay asked, taking a seat on the bed, "now what?"

Kimiko's eyes filled with sorrow as Rai's figure disappeared from sight. "Now we wait and hope for the best."

**O.o.O**

"Master, it seems the boy is alone." The panther warrior whispered to his liege. A cruel smile came to rest upon Chase's lips.

"Is that so? Then perhaps it is time I confronted my confused apprentice."

**O.o.O**

Raimundo ran through the streets blindly, ignoring everyone and everything. He didn't – no _couldn't_ – face anyone at the moment. He needed to think about his choices; about the chance he had now been offered. He couldn't understand why the Xiaolin would want him back, but would he really throw that away again?

Why did it all have to be so confusing! Rai let out a scream of rage, falling to his knees and fingers clawing at the ground. He knew those around him must be giving him strange looks, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He wanted to cry, throw a tantrum, anything to make this feeling go away!

"Oh how the mighty have fallen."

Rai got up and spun around quickly, his arms already up to defend himself against the voice he had come to know so well. Chase stood before him, a smirk on his face and a cold look in his eyes. "I see you still remember my first lesson."

"Lesson number one; always be ready." Rai whispered. "I did learn from the best after all."

Chase took a step closer, "And yet, in the end you still betrayed me. Did you not promise me your full obedience? Did I not make you stronger?"

Raimundo lowered his arms to his side, knowing that even if he were to fight, he would lose. "Y-you did but… I always felt weak. Two years I trained with you and I still feel weak…"

Chase placed his hand against Rai's cheek and Raimundo shivered, remembering all the times that hand had slapped him because of his failures. "Of course you still feel weak dear boy. Return home with me. Let me continue training you. It is only with me that you will ever get strong enough."

Rai shook his head slowly and took a step back, "I don't want to be stronger anymore."

The Heylin warrior raised an eyebrow, "So what is it you want, Raimundo? I still sense the darkness inside of you; it's yearning for power. Tell me what you want."

Raimundo took another staggering step back before falling to his knees yet again, a dazed look in his eyes. "I – I want someone to come and save me…"

"Save you from what?" Chase asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

_

* * *

Save me? Save me from… what?_

_No, save me from… who?_

* * *

"I… I need someone to save me… from myself…" The dazed look in Rai's eyes cleared and he looked up at Chase, his face set with determination. "Myself. I finally understand…The first step is identifying your fear." Rai said, more to himself than Chase as he recalled his dream from a few nights ago, "The second step is facing it, and the last step is eliminating it. I am afraid of myself – everything about myself. I was always afraid that my loved ones deaths were my fault, I'm afraid of the darkness, and I'm afraid of not being strong enough, but more than all of that… I'm afraid of losing myself. I accept this, and I'm facing my fears." Rai took a deep breath. "And… I'm acknowledging the fact that as long as I have people who care about me, I'll never fully lose myself."

Chase's eyes grew cold and he growled. Moving quicker that Raimundo could react, he grabbed Rai by the neck and pushed him up against a wall, "You stupid boy. Your fears are the only thing that makes you strong! Without your fears, your darkness will consume you and you will truly be weak!"

"No," Rai answered back calmly, "My fears were the only thing holding me back. I _am_ strong. The darkness is a part of me that I need to live with. No one can save me from the darkness inside of me, but maybe someone can still save me from myself." Rai's eyes hardened, "but that person will not be you."

Chase growled again, shoving Rai against the wall harder, cutting off Raimundo's oxygen and fully intending to do some serious harm, but paused when a voice behind him said, "I suggest you put him down partner. He doesn't want to go with you."

Rai fell to the ground, quietly gasping for air, as Chase turned to face the other two Xiaolin Warriors. "So the cavalry has arrived."

Rai's eyes lit up when he saw Kimiko and Clay standing there, ready to defend him. A warm feeling spread through his chest as he realized that they really did care for him. They had actually searched for him for two years and even now after he had ran from them they were ready to risk themselves to save him.

Kimiko lit her hands on fire, glaring at Chase, "Didn't you hear him? He doesn't want to go with you Chase. So leave."

Chase frowned and turned to face Raimundo again, his eyes cold with anger. "You will return to me one day." He hissed at Rai, "You won't be able to help it, the lure of power is too much for you. You'll come back to me because you'll want to be stronger."

"You're wrong. I will _never_ return to you. I don't need your kind of power and I don't need your kind of strength. I have my friends… they will be my strength."

Chase looked to each warrior, his eyes lingering on Rai for a moment as he gave him a small nod, acknowledging his defeat. "This war is far from over." He said before disappearing from sight.

"Perhaps, but the battle is ours."

* * *

**A/N:** So, as you guys can probably tell, I'm trying to wrap things up (truth be told, I had planned this story to be five or less chapters. Well... obviously that didn't work out. It will probably be around ten though.)All mistakes belong to me and my laziness :P

Reviews feed the soul, but I only need one to continue! (ah, screw it. I'm gonna finish the story even if it KILLS ME! Reviews do help though!)

Hope you all enjoyed the chapter and the next chapter will be up soon! (I promise, no more seven months of waiting!)

And if you've managed to make it this far into the story, then you deserve a cookie! *hands cookie* enjoy XD


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** OMG! LOOKIT! A _**CHAPTER**_! The apocalypse must be here if I'm updating! xD Please don't hate me for the insane amount of time it takes me to post. I'm really really sorry! (honestly, I am! I have no excuses and I give everyone permission to throw tomatoes and lettuce at me... well, that's a lie. You can throw cookies at me, but no vegetables :P)

Oh, I need to give a quick shout-out to the darling xxFireWarriorxx who wrote me a lovely message reminding me I haven't updated in FOREVER!

Also, thank you to everyone who left reviews (as much as I want to reply to them, I'm pretty sure no one remembers what you wrote to me :P) YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW YOUR REVIEWS MOTIVATE ME AND MAKE ME FEEL LOVED *gives everyone cookies and rainbows*

**Disclaimer**: The only thing that belongs to me is Rai-torture. I did not invent it, but I definitely torture him more than anyone else (That poor kid...)

Onward!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

_I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling right now…_

_There are so many different emotions swirling through my heart that I can't possibly distinguish one. _

_I feel like my chest is going to explode from containing all of them. Is it humanly possible to hold this much feeling inside of a body?_

_But… it's not so much the feelings I'm feeling that confuse me, but the absence of one particular feeling._

_I don't… feel afraid._

* * *

"Come on Rai, since when have you been scared of a couple old monks?" Kimiko joked, trying to urge Raimundo to step out of the Silver Manta Ray. But he was adamantly glued to his seat, refusing to move.

"What if no one wants me back?" Rai mumbled, and Kimi rolled her eyes and tugged on his arms.

"Don't be silly, of course everyone wants you back. In fact, Master Fung sent us out to find you and bring you home. We all missed you!" Kimiko replied sincerely. Clay had gone ahead to alert every one of their return and Kimiko and Raimundo were supposed to be following after him, but with how things were going at the moment, it didn't seem as if they would be moving anytime soon.

"Maybe it was a mistake. I mean, I've been gone for two years. What if they already chose a new dragon of the wind! What if it's a chick? What if they got a chick to replace me and she's stronger than me and has powers over rainbows and sparkles-"

Kimiko slapped him. "Get a hold of yourself Rai! Honestly, rainbows?" Raimundo's eyes opened wide in surprise and he grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just nervous." He said, rubbing the nape of his neck. "I just… can't believe I'm back…"

"Rai, you aren't just back; you're _home_." Kimi said with a wide smile on her face. The nervous look in Rai's eyes was replaced with a calm one as she said these words.

He nodded, "Home… I'm home."

* * *

_For the first time in years, I feel like I belong again. _

_It's a different type of belong then when I was with my gang. _

_This belonging makes me feel like I have a reason to live._

* * *

"RAIMUNDO!" Omi yelled out as if he was screaming a battle cry before pouncing on the taller boy and knocking him to the ground, "Oh my good friend, you have finally returned to us! I wanted to go look for you myself since I was sure I would be able to persuade you back with my amazing skills, but Master Fung assigned me the great task of watching the temple myself." Omi squished Rai's cheeks between his hands and gave him a very serious look, "You must not run away again!"

Rai chuckled, "I missed you too, Omi." He said before trying to pry the clingy boy arms off from around his waist. "Um… Omi, I kinda need my body back now…"

Omi refused to let go of Rai, and eventually Raimundo gave up and just let the younger boy cling to him. Clay and Kimiko watched this exchanged with amused expressions, smiling when they noticed how happy Rai seemed.

"Young monks, I see you've returned." An authoritative voice said from behind them. Omi finally let go of Rai, and Rai looked up wide eyed.

"Master Fung…"

"Raimundo, you look well."

Rai stood in shock for a few moments before walking to stand right in front of Master Fung. He met his eyes for a moment before bowing his body and head. "Master Fung… I know I've made some – _many_ wrong choices in the last few years, but I'd like one more chance to redeem myself in your eyes. Please, allow me to return as one of your pupils and train under you. I want to fight on the side of good again."

There was silence. The three young monks watched nervous as Rai stood bowed before Fung, waiting for his reply. "You betrayed us Raimundo. You left the Xiaolin side for the Heylin and learned their dark arts. All that is unforgivable."

Raimundo was sweating at this point. Now that he was here – now that he finally got the courage to return – was he really going to be turned away? "Master Fung-"

"And that is precisely why we will take you back." Master Fung finished kindly.

"W-what? I don't understand…"

Master Fung held out his hand to Raimundo and helped his stand straight. "Yes, you joined the Heylin, but you also made the correct choice to leave. You proved yourself strong enough to see the light. I always knew you would return to us Raimundo. I believed you would do the right thing."

* * *

_He… believed in me? All those times I felt I was alone, that no one wanted me, and this whole time… he's believed in me…_

* * *

Rai cast his eyes downward to hide his tears. Even after all this time, Master Fung had faith in him. "I – thank you Master Fung. I won't let you down again. I promise; I will become the best Dragon of Wind the world has ever seen!"

Master Fung smiled. "I do not doubt that-"

"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" A tall monk came yelled as he stormed forward and Master Fung narrowed his eyes at him.

"That is not your call to make Monk Gyasta. I have accepted Raimundo back as my pupil; you have no say in the matter." Fung said calmly. Monk Gyasta was fuming.

"How can we possibly trust him? He's betrayed us all! For all we know, he's still working for Chase Young and is deceiving us to discover our secrets! I refuse to accept anyone who had been on the Heylin side as a member of the Xiaolin Temple!" Monk Gyasta huffed. The words stung Raimundo's pride, but he didn't dare speak up for himself. Fortunately he didn't need to.

"Now listen here! Rai's been through enough without your verbal abuse! He made some mistakes, but he's only human!" Kimiko yelled, jabbing her finger at him angrily, "Master Fung already forgave him, so don't you go get all up in his face about his past!"

Monk Gyasta sneered at her, "Know your place trainee! You are not even a Dragon yet! You have no right to speak that way to me!"

Clay stepped forward to stand besides Kimiko and Omi rushed to her other side, "Actually par'ner, she's voicing all three of our opinions. We might just be 'dragons-in-training', but we're the only dragons there are right now, so I'm pretty sure we can speak that way when it's to defend a friend."

Master Fung smiled at how much his students had grown. Standing up to defend a friend, even when faced with someone who had authority over them, was a good trait. Monk Gyasta's face was slowly turning red and he began to splutter "Now you listen here-"

"No, he's right guys…" Rai said quietly, much to everyone's surprise, "I made a huge mistake and I joined the Heylin side. I can understand why you wouldn't want to trust me, but…" the look of desperation in Raimundo's eyes hardened, "I at least want the _chance_ to gain back your trust!"

All three other monks smiled and came to stand besides their friend, "If Rai is forced to leave; well, then we all leave, sir. We aren't the 'Xiaolin Dragons' without our dragon of the wind." Clay said confidently. Kimiko and Omi nodded in agreement.

Monk Gyasta's face was now bright red with anger, but he couldn't go against all four of the dragons and the master monk. "Fine! But if I find you doing even one thing wrong, I will see to it that you will be stripped of your powers and a new dragon of wind will be found to replace you!" He yelled angrily before stomping off. Rai watched him go, worry evident on his face.

"Great, I haven't even been back for an hour and somebody already hates me." Rai said with a chuckle, "Just like old times."

O.o.O

"Wow… I feel like I'm stepping into a time capsule. You guys left my room exactly as it was! Well, except it's probably cleaner now. I used to keep it a mess if I recall right." Rai said with a chuckle, plopping down onto the mat that served as his bed. "I can't believe you guys didn't empty it out or anything."

Kimiko stood in the doorway grinning, "Well, duh. We knew you would come back to us one day, so you needed a place to come back to."

Raimundo was quiet for a few moments before sitting upright and crossing his legs, "Hey Kimi," he said quietly, "do you guys really believe in me? I mean… that was the second time I've gone to the Heylin side. What if I – what if I'm not strong enough… what if I go back again?"

"Rai…" Kimiko squeezed herself into the small room and sat down next to the Brazilian boy, "no matter how many times you leave, we'll always be here to bring you back."

"Hmm," Rai hummed, digesting the answer. His friends really did want him back and it was…weird. He hadn't expected that returning could be this simple. "Hey Kimi, thanks."

"For what?" She questioned.

Rai laid back and placed his arms under his head so he could stare up at the ceiling. "For helping me realize what I needed. As horrible as this sound, I don't regret going to the Heylin side. And no matter how much I want to pretend it's not true, Chase has been a huge influence on my life. But I was so blinded by everything that I didn't realize just how much I was losing." He chuckled, "I think it finally clicked in when you slapped me. Even when I was with my familia I felt that something was missing. And I realized it was you. This. Everything I had! I missed fighting for good, I missed hanging out with you guys, I missed being able to slack off in chores and training and just relaxing and having fun. I missed the balance we had. With Chase, it was always training. With my gang, it was fun, but I was unmotivated. When I'm here with you guys, everything feels… perfect."

Kimiko didn't know how to respond to that, but it seemed that Raimundo wasn't looking for a response. He continued, "So thanks… you helped me realize that what I was living before wasn't living; it was just surviving. You saved me from a boring existence filled with hate and pain. So thank you," he flashed her a bright, happy grin, "for saving me."

Kimi blushed, "Yeah well…. Don't run away again and then I won't have to save you!" She said, punching him in the arm. He laughed.

"It's a deal."

* * *

_Thank you._

_Because without you…_

_I couldn't have saved myself._

_So thank you for Saving Me._

* * *

**A/N:** ASJDFHADJFEOIQHD! FINALLY FINISHED *dies* I hate how this chapter came out (actually, I pretty much hate this whole story at this point .) but there will still be an epilogue (eventually since I really want to write it)

Guys, this was unbeta-ed. unproofed, unEVERYTHINGed! I just wanted to get it up already! Thank you EVERYONE who read this and stuck with me despite my sporadic update (assuming anyone actually DID. I totally understand if you gave up on me considering I half gave up on myself xD)

IF YOU REVIEW I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER! (seriously, I will.) The epilogue will be posted regardless of reviews xD I just need to ... you know, write it .

Thank you again everyone! Hope you enjoyed!


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